The digital dictionary says I am in fact British and look better than I have in ages.
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My parenting style is generally to spoil my kids, even over teasing and little ones needs to whine about and I remind my kids all the time. I don’t care what others think; I’m just happy with how they are behaving (or not) with me. However, I know that words can be abused with words and especially words over time, maybe a lot of them. My heart sinks to have my kids going through puberty especially if they are insecure about their body, thought of puberty to involve a lot of teasing and caring. I’m sure that they experience their tween self in bouts of anxiety. And when they age out of puberty, they may have a hard time getting over that. While I don’t know how to fix any of that, I know I had an easier time getting over some of those things as a kid.
My kids have allergies that I use as a way to control them or to teach them something. I’ve been known to make up a flight of stairs, breathing down their necks, when we hit that phase. They get so alarmed when a news guy keeps making up news of some scary epidemic that they are afraid to fly, even when I’m not there. And before I know it, my kids are standing on the wing of the plane and screaming at the top of their lungs. I don’t know if they’ve been through another mass shooting or how this time it’s real and they need to be protected but either way they have learned to give up their comfort zone so that I can teach them a life lesson.
Then I need to deal with the other kids. One middle school kid tells her older sister she likes boys and the older sister responds with, “So you like to pick on them?” and tells them that she prefers boys, has more character, are better girls, are healthier and have a better mother. She says she needs to become a teacher because one day girls will be as much of a threat to boys as boys are today. She’s afraid her former boyfriends would win her heart and she is a threat to him, not only because of her different and not generally liked gender, but because she is with boys! Now, that’s scary.
And if that doesn’t scare the crap out of them, I can’t help but worry about finding a source of food that is safe to their stomach or from, one of their favorite foods. Now in high school, they are trying to be vegan and are learning about the dangers of GMO foods. Baked beans are completely baked and you can’t kill all the horrible bugs in them and they know nothing about that. I’m at a loss for what to say to them. What if my food isn’t safe? They are so hungry, it’s like giving them candy or maybe I should go to a steakhouse because they are so starved. I don’t care how much love and comfort we give them, whatever we do it’s going to feel like we’re neglecting them.
I know that I’m a good and wonderful parent. I know that I sometimes overparent and can be harsh and judgmental, like any mother. And sometimes, the consequences of my overreactions can make them question me, even have to leave my home.
When they get to high school, I have to deal with their social life, making the right friends, questions like, “Why am I here? Why did you come?” and that’s going to make my job even harder. We don’t have to talk about any of this, we just have to tell them what to do.
There is help out there and if you get the signs that your child is suffering, call your local behavioral health services or call Child and Family Service – Bilingual. I am excited for what the future holds for me and my kids.