Remember how you found $40+ in a couch cushions? Sure you do.
Learning How To Multiply Online
We often use the internet to communicate through social media. Research shows that this could be disrupting the romance market, says researcher Craig Sudicky, a PhD candidate in the Department of Sociology at Indiana University Bloomington.
Internet dominance as an idea in many corners of the country has had a big impact on how people both date and the way their romance materialises.
There have been discussions of technology’s effect on dating, including the implications that US couples are spending less time together and less time using an online dating app.
Every dollar invested in a dating app isn’t just to do with increasing the “time on board”; it’s about maximizing the possibility of the person you’re courting to actually become your partner.
Dating success online
There are, of course, people who can identify themselves and their prospective partners online and meet for meaningful conversations.
But, it is not a perfect vehicle, Sudicky says.
“Online dating, especially in the larger online dating scene, produces false matches for many (often for the man and the woman).”
Match.com says that only one in eight people who sign up will actually find a match within a year, and only about half will find a partner within two years.
An issue, says Sudicky, is that these places try to act as a “lender.”
“These platforms pursue to encourage many users to post something that reflects them in some way, even if that is not true for the person they are attempting to find,” he says.
It is an issue for users, and it is an issue for potential partners, Sudicky says. The ultimate way for digital tools to offer more empathy is to offer a broader range of human beings.
A need for variety
Yet this is an issue for couples who enter the dating market, especially since many online daters post pictures that are markedly similar to their partner’s photos, Sudicky says.
“This poses a simple problem: what is the person who is perceived as the online ‘self’”?
Choose the right match
To consider a good online match, or for that matter, a person, you need to see things from the person’s perspective, Sudicky says. When looking at someone’s online profile, ask yourself:
How do you see yourself presented?
At face value, we have to see a similarity between what a person has on their profile and the characteristics they use in their physical appearance. But, this does not tell the whole story, Sudicky says.
Do you see yourself looking back at their photos the same way?
What is the experience of looking back at the photos? Do you see this individual trying to be something they’re not?
But here, Sudicky says, most people will run into three kinds of questions when looking at someone’s profiles:
Potential partners may only ask questions like “What are your family plans?” when they are sure they are having fun in a party atmosphere.
However, here there are some essential questions to start with.
“A friendly question might be: ‘It can’t be easy to be in the singles market in Silicon Valley’. It’s not a negative question,” says Sudicky.
A culture that prides itself on its laid-back attitude and lack of expectations could easily turn on that very nature, he says.
Are you posting just to be listed?
Is there anything in the photo that makes me question how accurate the picture is or what you are trying to represent in that picture?
When you have a conversation with your date online or through their profile, you’ll ultimately choose the photo that has “the most appeal,” Sudicky says.
As you try to identify that photo, you should also ask how you can keep this relationship from going south.