According to a 2015 newsworthiness study, adults get less respect in the workplace than their younger counterparts. “It makes one wonder if people really know what they’re talking about.
How to Deal With a Bully in the Workplace
*Mariah Carey and Ariana Grande are not the only people who are unafraid to speak up against bullies. America is waking up with a veritable flood of stories about men and women who are standing up against bully and siding with their victims. From Andy Cohen’s beef with a rapper to the worst boss in the world, there’s plenty to read about.
One woman who wants to be known only as “Ashley,” a victim of a brutal workplace bully, wanted to find out why Americans are so willing to stand up for their lives. I interviewed her for my new column “A Bit of Advice With Rowdy to Watch Out For.”
With almost 25 million readers, this is now one of the most popular columns at Mail Online in the UK. It’s also inspired me to bring this format stateside to a wider audience.
It turns out, there are dozens of positive lessons about how to deal with bullies in the workplace, including a few real-life stories of real people battling the evil genius of a superior.
While different kinds of bullies exist in different situations, all bullies are a huge jerk. For one, they intentionally target someone who they believe does not deserve to have to deal with their cruelty. By identifying a bully early on, you can learn how to engage with them. The question we have to answer is: Do we get angry or do we grow?
Like all bullies, bullies also bully under the guise of humor.
They wear funny hats, put up with dumb jokes or bear it with honor in hopes that eventually they win the respect of their target. Without understanding the underlying reasons why these folks act the way they do, you can fall into the trap of “convenient anger.” In this approach, the facts are pushed aside or even ignored to satisfy the “willful cause” in our hearts.
RELATED: Karla Gallardo, a Greeter at the Walmart supercenter in Burbank, California, struggled with a series of angry incidents at work. Because of this, she quit her job in 2016. “I have a pet turtle and a cat,” Gallardo recalled. “This man would actually walk by my stuff and look right at me. That wasn’t funny to me! He would say things like, ‘You smell good, like an apartment.’”
Anger was a major reaction response in 2015 when Donald Trump was preparing to be the Republican presidential nominee. Some days have become increasingly “tongue-lashing and accusatory” since the release of the Access Hollywood tape and his campaign woes. According to a tweet by his former attorney, Michael Cohen, “The stuff he said in the Access Hollywood tape is disgraceful.” And the New York Times reported, “Less than a year ago, Donald Trump said he would use a knife to pry open Hillary Clinton’s front door if he was elected.”
But we’re not that sort of blustery and intimidating guy. I never bully anybody. I usually make jokes about their day. Like when a parking attendant took my parking spot and said something cruel, I said, “This lady’s a cancer.” He didn’t like that much. And I like that most of us are nice guys. Only bad people bother me.
Almost every day someone contacts me to tell me about their employees or family members being victims of bully-like behavior.
As someone who has experienced bullying in my life, I have a lot of advice for anyone being bullied.
Here are some suggestions that will help them succeed and stand up for themselves:
1. If your bullying works, talk to your supervisor about it. But there is a way to do this without making it sound as though your superior is only listening to you out of mercy. Be clear that you are there to consult. Ask your supervisor how they deal with bullies. If they haven’t dealt with this type of scenario, it might be time to spend some time, to become better able to handle the situation, rather than your boss making you do this.
2. Treat bullies like adults. Most bosses have rules about how to deal with bullying. And if your workplace has a problem, your boss can and should address the bully, rather than alluding to other harmful behaviors, because this will deter bullying.
3. Help the victims, not you. You are not their only resource. The powers-that-be need to listen to the victims, not the bully.