Inquiring minds in education would do well to look for evidence of the first societies in environments beyond hostile, chaotic, and passive environments.
How To Cite Primal Learning Anatomy And Physiology Online
Since we began dating a few months ago, my girlfriend and I do a lot of online dating. Recently, when I saw a page from a dating website with photos of women I had never met before, I noticed that all of the dates had ended in a disagreement. We might have been dating for two years, but after all that time, we hadn’t truly been able to be intimate yet.
And that was when I realized that our ability to empathize, communicate, and express ourselves would determine if we ever were able to have intimate relationships. But our ability to communicate sexual behavior was not the defining characteristic of our relationships. The functional traits that didn’t communicate actually made our relationship stronger than the traits that did!
This realization happened after we had broken up for a second time, but it wasn’t until afterwards that I realized that this realization contradicted my brain’s programming for growing intimacy with the opposite sex. It’s been almost a year since we broke up, and I think I’m finally able to break free from this type of thinking.
This thought process is referred to as primal learning behavior and begins with behavior models which we learned in infancy through very early childhood. These patterns of behavior are molded by experiences that we have with other people, but this consciousness usually subsides after a short period of time. And then, as I discovered with my girlfriend, the primitive behavior morphed into sexual behavior patterns that made us feel deprived and resentful, as if we had shown our true selves to people who we weren’t even dating.
In a society where emphasis is placed on making humans feel good about themselves and having others fall in love with them, the primal behavior became the primary driver for relationships.
In this natural cycle of life, as you draw closer to the consequences of your actions, our internal data model comes in, and our psychology allows us to survive, even if it means sacrificing health and healthful choices in order to maintain our reproductive health. But eventually our tendencies become abnormal and we reach a higher threshold of normalcy. After this, our instincts take over our conscious thought patterns and internal data model is very unlikely to be put into the forefront of those thoughts. This gives rise to a host of problems, like undiagnosed mental illness, addictive behavior, and dysfunctional attachment styles.
But research shows that humans unconsciously develop their immediate comprehension within a six-hour period after birth. Their ability to think is developed in half that time because they’re building intellectual property during this short period of time. The personality traits they develop during this six-hour period are very useful for developing their social capabilities and the subtle social skills to establish and maintain their relationships.
And why do we tend to value our relationships over our career goals? It’s because our brains are programmed to like things about us that we’re not proud of, and who can deny that any human with an outside voice is superior? From a biological perspective, the adaptive role of our frontal lobes is to lead us away from the source and toward the exit. This led to this evolutionary human trait of focusing on relationships and overwhelming the narcissistic tendencies.
For a long time, this evolutionary shift between being passionate about our career goals and passion for our significant other was a rare phenomenon that comprised very few relationships. However, recently, the dialogue has changed due to the way most workplaces are set up, where the motivation for creativity and passion has shifted. An unshared goal and quality of work is absent, and supervisors can’t gauge the motive behind production. This ends up creating a slippery slope to work-life compromise.
While career development has taken a backseat to having balance in your life, the collective unconscious of individuals is programmed to have relationships at the forefront of their subconscious. Take for example, therapists, whom are constantly told to prioritize work and stay up at night fighting insomnia if they want to be recognized by their clients. And what happens if you’re rewarded for working well beyond your limit? This cycle of needing to prove to others that you’re worthy of their attention, praise, and money leads to excessive attachment styles, addiction, and unhealthy relationships. Most recently, this behavior has been defined as weak attachments in love.
This article was originally published at The Journal of Applied Psychology. Reprinted with permission from the author.