Facebook began collecting information about what people read and watched as early as 2011, and we’d been told to expect it since then. I always thought that it was a good thing: improved products and faster speeds.
How Have You Dealt With The Technology Of This Learning Style And Online Culture
Maria DeGiorgio is a fitness instructor, life coach, author, trainer and educator, whose work is dedicated to the core truths of self-love and empowerment. In the latest segment of “360 Degree Dating,” Maria shares her theory on how people learn to love themselves through exercises they put in place through exercise, fun and emotional feedback.
During their dating days, people are very comfortable with searching for the “best” partner. However, as they grow older, the sense of dependency on “the one” diminishes. The joy that is associated with dating is one that is more about the relationship and a sense of connection with the other person. The quest for love is no longer as urgent as it used to be.
Maria explains that the no longer high demand of being “the one” has allowed us to grow together, rather than the old pre-projectile mating approach to dating that many of us grew up in. In her new book, Women Who Make The World Move, Maria addresses the outdated fear of becoming a spouse that I’ve mentioned previously.
As Maria explains, she has seen a shift in our concept of an ideal partner over the years. “I’ve noticed that there is a shift with how people see love,” says Maria. “People are now growing in their adult stages and consciously deciding that this is who they want to be in the future. You don’t need someone to complete you; that’s not the best use of your time and energy. You can focus on creating someone that completes you in addition to others. The motivation for finding a partner is that you don’t feel fulfilled by just being yourself, so you start seeing how you’re impacting others.”
In a time where technology has allowed us to stop worrying and start living and live more fully in our own world, I ask Maria what she thinks that means for the definition of “date” and this learning culture that we seem to be living in. How have you dealt with the technology of this learning style and the online culture? Maria says that yes, when people asked her if she’s dating anyone new online, she would laugh because she says that she’s still waiting to find the guy who is simply the way she is.
“The science is clear – if you see a person for what they are and not for what you want them to be, you can expect to get to know them more clearly in the long run, and the relationship won’t be in the freezer of hopelessness,” Maria explains. “So, the only time you need to get involved with something is when it’s totally right for you. I’m a very picky person, and my boyfriend and I always joke that if I have to deal with a guy who doesn’t match my exact sense of what it is that I want, I know in my gut that he’s not the right one for me.”
As Maria and I hash this out on our own separate messages, I marvel at how people all have different assessments of what relationships should be. You can have a fulfilling friendship that is wonderful in and of itself, but I know my friend who has a complicated relationship to men in particular, and that can be frustrating to others, simply because she finds herself drawn to someone who appeals to her sexually.
Marilyn Monroe once said, “Dating is like a fish out of water – you can’t change it”. Given this observation, maybe it’s time we get out of the fast lane of “bringing the ones that got away” and into the slow lane of “being who you are and then finding someone to make you happy”.